1st time.......

my dear love..
i dun know whether dis is d 1st time,
that when im on phone wif my mama,
i felt like im gonna cry..
i just got know that she is now in hospital ward, coz of her eyes getting hurt...
i'll try wanted 2 ask her about her health, but it seem so awkward 2 talk on phone...
i know that until this moment that i've can't talk wif my mama cmfortable....
after on phone wif her, i felt this feeling that what would be to me if she's 'gone'..
what will happen to me...so many kind of question in my mind..
dis is d 1st time im thinking about 'that'..am i gonna miss her??am i gonna cry if she's gone and left me???what will happen???